Kicking My Own Ass

Motivation is tough in the winter, when the overwhelming urge to drink three cups of rum-spiked hot chocolate and watch umpteen episodes of 30 Rock can really put a damper on your novel writing. Here, in no particular order, are some ways to get motivated during the long, gray days of February:*

  • Wake up early to write before work. Check a few blogs and websites and maybe facebook to see what happened in the last six hours until your eyelids start working normally. Make coffee. Maybe take a shower. Realize that you’ve wasted your morning and manage a paltry 130 words while brushing your teeth and tying your shoes.
  • Get a fancy notebook as a Christmas gift. Write in it once, very productively. Carry it around like a fetish thereafter. When needed, stroke its smooth cover protectively.
  • Win Nanowrimo! Take a month off. Return to writing feeling like every day you didn’t write is hanging over your head like a second moon. Curse the gods.
  • Create a fun rewards system:
    • 100 words = 5 minutes away from computer to feel like a human being again
    • 250 words = 1 cup of coffee to stop the shakes and headaches and voices
    • 500 words = 1 dessert, to be eaten not at dessert-time
    • 1,000 words = $5 in the “buy a new computer” jar
    • 2,000 words = Blast “We are the Champions” and sing like you’re auditioning for The Voice
    • 5,000 words = Convince girlfriend that you’ve “earned it”
    • 10,000 words = Convince self that you’ve “earned it”
    • Finish manuscript = Mists of Pandaria and 1 month gametime
    • Finish manuscript before 32nd birthday = Realization that you are good enough, smart enough and doggone it, people like you
  • Look for inspiration in the world around you!
    • The Groundhog didn’t see his shadow, and you can safely ignore the spectre of failure that looms in the recesses of your mind.
    • The most literary team in the NFL won the Super Bowl! Named after a Poe poem and harboring a murderer, let the Ravens’ gothic flavor seep into your writing.
    • Terrorist attacks abroad and shootings at home indicate that people need escapism! Now is the perfect time to finish your fantasy novel and get it out there. Sure it’s set in 2006 and seems laughably dated to even the least interested reader, but that’s what they you pay editors for.
  • At the end of the day, you can always go back to your 3-years-defunct blog and mock yourself. It’s what the pros do!**

* Note: Not all attempts at motivation succeed. Don’t get discouraged, just try something else.
**Note: I don’t know any pros.

NaNoWriMo Fail – 2010 Edition

So I’ve never actually completed the annual exercise in hard work/tedium/elation/good writing habits that is National Novel Writing Month. And sometimes I feel bad about it, but not that often. It doesn’t help that I have a bad habit of taking two weeks of vacation every November (and my vacations are rarely of the “sit around on a beach and write novels” type). Anyway, though I didn’t “win” (winning = completing 50,000 words in 30 days), I did have my best NaNoWriMo ever: 16,430 words!

*sound of crickets*

Shut up, I think it’s impressive.