5 Points Book Review: Shutter Island

Shutter Island by Dennis Lehane

1. One-Sentence Sentence: In 1954, US Marshals Teddy Daniels and Chuck Aule head to an isolated, creepy-as-hell mental institution secreted among Boston’s Harbor Islands to recapture an escaped patient (who also happens to be a murderer), but are unprepared for recalcitrant staff, mysterious happenings, unexplained disappearances and one hell of a hurricane.

2. Op-Ed: After seeing the preview for the new movie embedded in the Martin Scorsese retrospective at the Golden Globes (I was watching them ironically, honest), I noticed a wayward copy of Shutter Island cluttering up the shelf of the waiting area at my office. Knowing that I had a two-day business trip in my future, I happily “borrowed” it. There’s just something about mystery/thriller/crime novels that seems perfect for “stuck-on-the-tarmac-while-de-icing-the-plane”.

Needless to say, Island fit the bill for business travel. It’s a fast read, tightly paced, cleverly plotted and devilishly intricate without sacrificing characters, atmosphere or dialogue in the process. Color me impressed. It also served as my first taste of Lehane. Rest assured, dear reader, it won’t be my last.

3. Thumbs Up: Atmosphere! Rule #1 for suspense fiction is that it has to be suspenseful! Lehane hits it out of the park. The titular island is creepy, isolated, intimately tied to Marshal Teddy Daniels’ past and present and “more than it seems”.

Also, character! Teddy is damaged goods, that’s clear, but he is never beyond sympathy. He’s just a cop who’s there to do a job.

Dialogue! Right from the beginning, the banter between Teddy and Chuck is pitch-perfect and their two-normal-guys-confronting-really-abnormal-circumstances relationship plays out to the very end. The setting is bleak and claustrophobic without feeling overly manufactured.

On an even broader note, I very much enjoyed both the Boston setting (which is near and dear to my heart) and the amount of research into mid-century psychiatry (which isn’t, but is fascinating nonetheless).

4. Thumbs Down: Not too much, though slight bits  of the plot lose their believability when seen through the post-twist lens at the end (the prologue in particular). At the same time, certain elements that seem contrived and a-little-too-convenient are actually brilliantly explained, so there’s that.

*Spoiler Alert, maybe*

Maybe it’s more of a personal flaw than a critique of the book, but I really liked where things were going pre-twist. And even though the twist is more than satisfactory, the hinted-at world pre-twist was intriguingly dark and sinister.

5. Recommendation:By all means, read it before you see the movie!

-4 Stars-

5 Points Review Scale

1 Star: I would never burn a book, but this really tempted me
2 Stars: Read this book only if you have no other books and reading is the only thing that makes the voices go away
3 Stars: Lousy book with redeeming parts or Good book with obvious flaws
4 Stars: Buy it, read it, loan it out, forget who you loaned it to, buy it, read it, loan it out…
5 Stars: This will be on the syllabus in my upcoming seminar: “The Best Books You’ll Ever Read”


5 Points Book Review: The Court of the Air

The Court of the Air by Stephen Hunt

From the back of the book:

When Molly Templar witnesses a brutal murder at the brothel she has just been apprenticed to, her first instinct is to return to the poorhouse where she grew up. But there she finds her fellow orphans butchered, and it slowly dawns on her that she was in fact the real target of the attack. For Molly carries a secret deep in her blood, a secret that marks her out for destruction by enemies of the state. Soon Molly will find herself battling a grave threat to civilization which draws on an ancient power thought to have been quelled millennia ago.

Oliver Brooks has led a sheltered life in the home of his merchant uncle. But when he is framed for his only relative’s murder he is forced to flee for his life. He is accompanied by Harry Stave, an agent of the Court of the Air — a shadowy organization independent of the government that acts as the final judiciary of the land, ensuring that order prevails. Chased across the country, Oliver finds himself in the company of thieves, outlaws and spies, and gradually learns more about the secret that has blighted his life, but which may also offer him the power to avert the coming catastrophe. Their enemies are ruthless and myriad, but Molly and Oliver are joined by indomitable friends in this endlessly inventive tale full of drama, intrigue and adventure.

1. One-Sentence Sentence: A socio-political, international-intrigue-laden, faux-victorian, steampunk, manic, magico-techno-sortof-thriller overstuffed with lovecraftian-ripoff gods, too many deposed aristocrats, barely-there secret police, body horror, fairies (in the fay sense), airships, unbelievably (literally) vast conspiracies, the menace of communism (really? in 2007?), artificial intelligence, ancient prophecies, pulp fiction and two convenient orphans, Stephen Hunt’s The Court of the Air is…complex–confusingly, needlessly, maddeningly complex.

2. Op-Ed: Ok, confession time: I’m a sucker for steampunk. No, actually, that’s probably not good enough. I love a good steampunk story. In fact, if I had the time, money and a cadre of like-minded friends, I would probably be a full on goggles-wearing steampunk cosplayer.

In point of fact, I like any story that manages to avoid the twin gravitational poles of heroic-epic-Tolkien-Jordan-fantasy and magic-in-the-real-world-potter-twilight-urban-fantasy.  Now, there are lots of subgenres and sub-subgenres and intra-genre niches that fit this definition of what appeals to me, but there’s something about steampunk that just appeals to the tinkerer in me.

The tropes that speak to me–the mad scientist, the polymath inventor, the airship captain, the class stratification, the explorer mentality, the labyrinthine cities, the Dickensian underclass–aren’t unique to steampunk by any means but they just seem to work a little better there. I wish I could tell you why clockwork or steam-powered technology intrigues me more than dilithium crystals or whatever, but I honestly don’t know.

(I’m glad that it’s finally out in the open. In 2008, when the Boston Phoenix and the New York Times came out with big “What is this Steampunk craze?” articles (here and here, respectively), I had already been a longtime devotee. If I had to pin down my first exposure/falling-in-love moment, it would probably be sometime around 1995 when in short order I stumbled into The Adventures of Brisco County, Jr., Jean-Pierre Jeunet’s The City of Lost Children and Final Fantasy III. Within a few years, I’d read Paul Di Filippo’s The Steampunk Trilogy, the first of Alan Moore’s League of Extraordinary Gentlemen series and Philip Pullman’s His Dark Materials and well, it was on.)

Long story short, The Court of the Air seems to have been tailored to my tastes, but by the end I was deeply disappointed. In the broad strokes, Hunt’s world is breathtaking. The scope of the story and the scale of the worldbuilding are staggering. But, like pointillism, when you get closer the whole thing dissolves into a meaningless wash of color.

While reading, the book that sprang repeatedly to my mind was China Mieville’s Perdido Street Station. This, by itself is definitely not a bad thing. Back in the day, it was Perdido that really opened my eyes to some of the stranger dimensions of fantasy literature. However, when my thoughts kept alternating between “oh, that was done better in Perdido Street Station” and “I wonder where my copy of Perdido Street Station got to?” I knew that the jig was up: fridge logic abounds, and the Oliver storyline hops from cliche to cliche before devolving into a full-on cliche storm after an unexpected (and ridiculous) level in badass.

Yes, I spend way too much time on tvtropes.org. No more links, I promise.

3. Thumbs Up: The Molly Templar storyline generally, and Molly herself, though I could’ve done without the prophecy mumbo-jumbo. As I mentioned up above, the worldbuilding is very well done, specifically in regards to how the various cultures are revealed through the actions and attitudes of characters and not troweled on in paragraphs of description. Additionally, I appreciate that much of the world was left unrevealed, as I assume the countries and cultures not gone into will appear in the sequels.

Among the more intriguing things left unexplored:

  • the bio-magical and gene-tampering Caliphate
  • the Aztec-inspired ancient culture that thrived during the ice age
  • the origins of the Steammen and the deeper workings of their society

The Steammen culture is worth a little extra attention here for being particularly original and well-written. A nation-state and corresponding diaspora of artificial intelligences, they aren’t robots of any sort you’ve seen before and that’s pretty hard to do.

Also, maybe i’m somewhat alone on this one, but I thoroughly enjoyed that nearly everyone Molly met in the first third of the book ended up dead a few pages later. Nothing like bringing senseless mayhem everywhere you go to get a character moving. Plus, Count Vauxtion, though hardly original, made a great unstoppable assassin. I imagined him looking like Malcolm McDowell in “Heroes”.

4. Thumbs Down: The Oliver storyline and Oliver himself. On top of the banality of the cliches I mentioned earlier, the kid is a total cipher with a mysterious past who…blah blah blah, even recapping it is boring. He gets dragged around by a frankly much more interesting character and ends up saving the world, except that Molly actually does all the hard stuff anyway.  And she gets a freakish zombie robot steamman as a sidekick, while Oliver gets…more cliches (a failed knight looking for atonement, a talking weapon so powerful it makes itself sad, a fugitive aristocrat who is also a pirate, and a twisted deformed mutant who is also a nice guy).

And on top of that, around 100 pages from the end, Oliver gets a few more layers of nonsense poured over his storyline thanks to some shoehorned plot about his parents and the pseudo-god-fairy-godmother who may in fact be behind the whole story from the beginning. Except she’s not.  Also, his powers beat everybody else’s powers combined.

Lord, why couldn’t this just be a fun adventure yarn about Molly Templar: scrappy orphan caught up in events beyond her control?

Sorry. Moving on.

Wait, no I’m not. Two storylines, both following orphans inextricably linked to the same country-, generation- and millenia-spanning conflict, and they don’t even meet up until three fourths of the way through? And then, after only a few pages, they separate for the entire rest of the book? Really? Are you serious, Stephen Hunt?

Ok, now I’m moving on. Here is the rest of the stuff i didn’t like, in list form:

  • The Court of the Air, the namesakes of the entire book, are underutilized, underexplained, something of a cliche and completely unnecessary, all at the same time!
  • The various countries and cultures, while all interesting, are somewhat transparent copies of real-world countries and cultures. (Dear fantasy authors, please stop creating fantasy versions of England. There really are enough of them already out there. Thanks.)
  • Communityism in general. As much as the idea of communists voluntarily submitting themselves to be trapped in perfectly equal robot bodies is disturbing, it is also silly. Plus lots more transparent copies of real-world things (communityism = communism, Carl = Marx, Gideon’s Collar = guillotine, ad nauseum).
  • Mcguffins: the super god-fighting machine, the airship fuel, the guns of justice, Oliver’s mystery powers (and Oliver himself, sort of).

Alright, clearly, I could go on. Suffice it to say that very little of this stuff occured to me while I was reading it. The pace is fast, the action good, and Molly at least is an interesting and exciting addition to the ranks of scrappy heroines.

Sorry, I couldn’t resist. Did I mention the merits of spending an afternoon perusing tvtropes.org?

5. Recommendation: I’m not sure I’ve written enough reviews here for this to be obvious, but the reason I’ve gone on at such length about the flaws in Hunt’s book is because I very much wanted to like it and I felt that there was a great story there (specifically Molly’s story) that got in turn shortchanged and buried by the rest of the narrative.

Read Perdido Street Station, then everything else Mieville has written, then come back and read The Court of the Air.

-3 Stars-

5 Points Review Scale

1 Star: I would never burn a book, but this really tempted me
2 Stars: Read this book only if you have no other books and reading is the only thing that makes the voices go away
3 Stars: Lousy book with redeeming parts or Good book with obvious flaws
4 Stars: Buy it, read it, loan it out, forget who you loaned it to, buy it, read it, loan it out…
5 Stars: This will be on the syllabus in my upcoming seminar: “The Best Books You’ll Ever Read”

5 Points Book Review: The Italian Secretary

The Italian Secretary by Caleb Carr

1. One-Sentence Sentence: What if an old Arthur Conan Doyle manuscript had turned up in somebody’s attic or basement and Caleb Carr had decided to submit it as an original “Holmes” story?

2. Op-Ed: While perusing the local used bookstore after seeing the new “Sherlock Holmes” movie, I stumbled across The Italian Secretary, which I had seen described as Sherlockian pastiche. Now that I’ve read it, I prefer to think of it alternately as first-rate fan fiction or a sponsored follow-up similar to Brandon Sanderson’s Wheel of Time books. Much like Sanderson’s The Gathering Storm, Mr. Carr was approached by the estate of a famous author with a long-running, much-beloved series. Unlike Sanderson, however, Carr didn’t have voluminous notes and an already mapped out story to work from.

Unfortunately for the sake of my contextualization, the last time I read authentic ACD-penned Holmes was close to two decades ago. Since then, my recollections, opinions and insights on the famous consulting detective have been heavily colored by parodies, various televisual homages and the most recent movie (which I enjoyed the stuffing out of, by the by).

That being said, Carr does an astonishing job at matching style and characterization to Doyle’s versions of both Holmes and Watson. The plot is pretty much boilerplate, in the Hound of the Baskervilles, Adventure of the Sussex Vampire vein (and so is the movie, come to think of it: viz. seemingly supernatural occurrences debunked by deductive logic. Actually inductive logic, but that’s another blog post), but the execution is deft and surefooted to the point that I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that Carr actually was handed a notebook with Doyle’s notes and outlines.

3. Thumbs Up: The joy of a new Holmes story–complete with marvelously accurate characters, a moody and atmospheric setting and great attention to historical and canon details.

4. Thumbs Down: The plot itself falls on the pedestrian side for Holmes. Though the mystery is interesting for the reader and for dear Dr. Watson, the detective himself comes across as somewhat bored. Plus, it’s not true Sherlock Holmes–no matter how accurate the copy, it’s still a copy.

5. Recommendation: Read it if: you’ve read the four novels and fifty-six short stories that make up the canon, perused the pastiches, watched the movies and played the videogames.

-3 Stars-

5 Points Review Scale

1 Star: I would never burn a book, but this really tempted me
2 Stars: Read this book only if you have no other books and reading is the only thing that makes the voices go away
3 Stars: Lousy book with redeeming parts or Good book with obvious flaws
4 Stars: Buy it, read it, loan it out, forget who you loaned it to, buy it, read it, loan it out…
5 Stars: This will be on the syllabus in my upcoming seminar: “The Best Books You’ll Ever Read”

Top 10 books of 2009*

*That I will hopefully read in 2010

When I visit bookstores or spend time in airports or inevitably end up on amazon.com, my book addiction rears its ugly head and I end up with lots of books that I probably shouldn’t have purchased. As a somewhat direct result, I am often unable to afford so-called “new” books at any given time of the year.

Basically, if you were hoping for this blog to be about forthcoming or recently released books, then you should either start sending me some for free or shut up.

Nevertheless, books keep being released and my wish list grows ever longer. I’m sure many of you out there can relate, so I’ll get off the carping and on to the top ten 2009 releases that I hope to purchase and read in the coming year:

10. Shades of Grey by Jasper Fforde (Amazon)

Shades of Grey by Jasper Fforde

Released: December, 2009
Out in Paperback: ?
Why I want to read it: On his venerable “Whatever” blog, John Scalzi (scifi writer, check him out) runs one of the best recurring features for writers: The Big Idea. The gist of it is that authors write a short essay describing where or how they got the idea for a book. Go read Jasper Fforde’s Big Idea for Shades of Grey then tell me you don’t want to read it too.

9. Dragon in Chains by Daniel Fox (Amazon)

Dragon in Chains by Daniel Fox

Released: January, 2009
Out in Paperback: Now
Why I want to read it: As one of the few fantasy novels that takes its cues from somewhere other than medieval Europe, I think Dragon in Chains should have a place on lots of lists–a sort of affirmative action for non-Western fantasy. On top of that, all the reviews are stellar and the sequel is due to be released this Spring. Plus on a personal note, my own work-in-progress involves a not-inconsiderable amount of Chinese mythology. Birds of a feather and all that.

8. Finch by Jeff VanderMeer (Amazon)

Finch by Jeff VanderMeer

Released: November, 2009
Out in Paperback: Now
Why I want to read it: A semi-sequel to City of Saints and Madmen, Finch is set in VanderMeer’s rambling fictional city of Ambergris. Apart from my deep and abiding love of fictional cities (more on that below), Finch is also equal parts noir thriller, detective story, and political thriller. Plus, fungal technology!

7. The Windup Girl by Paolo Bacigalupi (Amazon)

The Windup Girl by Paolo Bacigalupi

Released: September, 2009
Out in Paperback: May, 2010
Why I want to read it: The sheer number of positive reviews and the deafening volume of their praise. Also, when speculative fiction breaks into the Time Magazine top ten books of the year, you know its either boilerplate or a damn good time. All indications are for the latter, so count me in.

6. Palimpsest by Catherynne Valente (Amazon)

Palimpsest by Catherynne Valente

Released: February, 2009
Out in Paperback: Now
Why I want to read it: First, I love archaic words (palimpsest – n. a reused manuscript where the original text has been incompletely obscured by the new text). Second, I love maps (like the cover). Third, I love fictional cities. Fourth, this particular fictional city is only accessible in the sleep that follows sex, which, talk about your narrative devices, yowza. Fifth, go back and reread the fourth, ok?

5. The Dark Volume by Gordon Dahlquist (Amazon)

The Dark Volume by Gordon Dahlquist
Released: March, 2009
Out in Paperback: ?
Why I want to read it: I enjoyed the hell out of the first book in the series (The Glass Books of the Dream Eaters) and am tickled by the thought of more of the same, only sequel-ier. Plus, Miss Temple! She’s sassy, blonde, fearless, titillating and one can easily imagine Kristen Bell in a corset while reading her chapters. What’s not to love?

4. Boneshaker by Cherie Priest (Amazon)

Boneshaker by Cherie Priest

Released: September, 2009
Out in Paperback: Now
Why I want to read it: Combining steampunk and zombies could have gone one of two ways. The first way is a cliche storm of epic proportions. Luckily, the second way is Boneshaker.

3. Leviathan by Scott Westerfeld (Amazon)

Leviathan by Scott Westerfeld

Released: October, 2009
Out in Paperback: September, 2010
Why I want to read it: World War I as seen through the twin lenses of dieselpunk and biopunk (for the Central Powers and the Allied Powers, respectively) might be one of the best alternate history ideas of all time, irritating nomenclature aside.

2. The City and The City by China Mieville (Amazon)

The City & The City by China Mieville

Released: May, 2009
Out in Paperback: April, 2010
Why I want to read it: Three words: Perdido Street Station. A few more: China Mieville is one of the finest writers out there. Every book he writes will be on a list of books I want to read. Even though it’s not a part of the Bas-Lag universe, The City & The City looks to be even better.

1. The Magicians by Lev Grossman (Amazon)

The Magicians by Lev Grossman
Released: August, 2009
Out in Paperback: April, 2010
Why I want to read it: Postmodern Harry Potter, with all of the best implications of that phrase. Plus, I’ve been a fan of Grossman’s writing for a while, and it’s always fun to see a “serious” writer try their hand at speculative fiction.

So there you have it. Feel free to buy any of these and mail them to me. In return, you’ll get your very own acknowledgement on this here weblog. Keen, huh? Oh, and if I ever get my book published, you can have a free signed copy.

Dan 1, horde of marauding viruses 0.5

Yeah, sure, in the grand scheme of things, viruses just want to live and let live, man. Unfortunately for them, living involves brutally invading my body and wreaking havoc. Which, if you’re interested, is a surefire way to get me in a fightin’ mood.

So, I made mincemeat out of ’em. And now, i’m on the road to recovery. It is a winding road, and not at all scenic, thus offering plenty of time for reading!

So, as a sort of teaser, here’s what you can expect on danthology in the next week or so:

Books I finished and will soon review:

The Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss

Arthas: Rise of the Lich King by Christie Golden (this might involve a digression or two…)

Books I’m currently reading:

Lonely Werewolf Girl by Martin Millar

Very Mercenary by Rayo Casablanca

Anathem by Neal Stephenson

Rats Saw God by Rob Thomas (who went on to make “Veronica Mars” the best TV show that you’ve probably never seen)

Also, I’ll try very hard to branch out and entertain you with the many ways I fail to work on my novel, plus my first ever rejection letter!

5 Points Book Review: Zoe’s Tale

Ender Wiggin meets Veronica Mars

Ender Wiggin meets Veronica Mars

1. One-Sentence Sentence: Zoe’s Tale is as engaging a sci-fi story as you’re likely to find, rife with interstellar intrigue, teen angst, and xeno-sociology, and related by one of the most thoroughly engaging narrators I’ve read in quite some time.

2. Op-Ed: Yes, in my initial impressions, I hinted that Zoe herself came across as a little…um, well, let’s just say if she’d gone to college with my group of friends, she would’ve earned the nickname “Small Doses Zoe”. But hey, the girl grows on you, big time. She’s a complete character, fully realized and alive in a genre and setting where this sort of thing is rare enough to be surprising. My hat’s off to Mr. Scalzi, as he’s set the bar extremely high when it comes to mouthy 15-year-old girls. (Just like the protagonist in my WIP/debut novel. Sigh.)

3. Thumbs Up: Where to begin? I think a big part of what I loved about this book is that I was new to the universe. The inter-stellar and inter-racial politics all felt fresh and involving–both to Zoe herself and to me as a reader–and the situations came off as believable and multi-faceted. This is important, as the non-humans weren’t simply presented as faceless bogey-men, and in the case of the Obin, were actually characterized better than most of the human characters. As I mentioned, I adored Zoe, Hickory, and Dickory, and I thought her parents came off well, though I imagine Scalzi did most of their character building in the previous three books. To a lesser degree, I liked Enzo and his role in the story, but Zoe actually being in love didn’t quite come across.

The plot was good and science-fiction-y without feeling forced. The pacing was great and it was actually a joy to find such a realized world in such a short book. But again, that probably has something to do with the fact that it was established and fleshed out previously. This feels very convincing from Zoe’s point of view, as she’s being pushed into a world without having the opportunity to read the wikipedia page, so to speak. Lastly, the dialogue (and Zoe’s internal monologue) practically crackles off the page. It’s sharp, funny, smart, wise, touching, and insightful–often at the same time.

4. Thumbs Down: A lot of the other characters were on the weak side. In particular, Zoe’s BFF Gretchen seemed to have little to offer as she was virtually a carbon copy of Zoe herself. I won’t lie, I enjoyed their bantering relationship, but there wasn’t much else to her. Similarly, General Gau, the nominal antagonist was underutilized and underexplored (Why did he wipe out that colony on the video? What was the goal of the Conclave anyway?) Perhaps these are questions for the next few books in the OMW universe.

5. Recommendation: If, like me, you haven’t read any of Scalzi’s other books (Old Man’s War, The Ghost Brigades, The Last Colony) I cannot recommend this book enough. It’s a breath of fresh air in a genre (military sci-fi) that’s been stifling for too long. Similarly, if you know any YA readers, hook them up with a copy. I can pretty much guarantee that they’ll enjoy it, even if they roll their eyes at the very mention of “science fiction”. Actually, it could work just as well for anti-sci-fi eye-rollers of any age, Zoe’s Tale is that captivating.

However, if you’ve read the others, and in particular if you’ve read The Last Colony, I really don’t know what to tell you. You already know the characters and the setting. Odds are, if you enjoyed them, you’ll enjoy this. If not, the change of focus may still float your boat. It couldn’t hurt to try, right? -4 Stars-

5 Points Review Scale

1 Star: I would never burn a book, but this really tempted me
2 Stars: Read this book only if you have no other books and reading is the only thing that makes the voices go away
3 Stars: Lousy book with redeeming parts or Good book with obvious flaws
4 Stars: Buy it, read it, loan it out, forget who you loaned it to, buy it, read it, loan it out…
5 Stars: This will be on the syllabus in my upcoming seminar: “The Best Books You’ll Ever Read”

Thanks, Subterranean Press!

French cover to Zoes Tale

French cover to Zoe's Tale

I just got my free copy of Zoe’s Tale yesterday, and per our agreement, I eagerly dove in.

Initial thoughts:

  • Since Zoe is my first experience with either Scalzi or the OMW universe, I like to think I’m coming at it with a fresh perspective, completely unburdened by any omg-it’s-the-same-story-as-The-Last-Colony-Scalzi’s-a-hack! drama
  • I like Zoe, even if i couldn’t stand to be around anyone that mouthy in real life.
  • I like the subtle digs at sci-fi tropes.
  • Um, I like it.

5 Points Review to come!

5 Points Book Review: Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

Don't worry, that's not Elizabeth

1. One-sentence Sentence: On the whole, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies was very entertaining and added a new layer of meaning to the Elizabeth/Darcy melodrama, though it was hard not to feel that some of the weight of the original got sacrificed for the zombie and ninja mayhem.

2. Op-Ed: The amount of zombification (no, not the process of turning into a zombie, the process by which zombies are added to a story as a plot device) was surprising. Despite there being an addition on nearly every page (in one of three categories: zombies/zombie fighting, martial arts training, and Elizabeth’s warrior philosophy), the story was essentially the same. This is exactly how the book was pitched, but I was still sort of surprised to find everything working out in the end. Except for poor Mr. Collins, I guess.

3. Thumbs up: The characters of Elizabeth, Darcy, Jane, and Lady Catherine were all improved by the addition of zombie-fighting prowess and martial arts. I especially liked how the kick-assery of the ladies made the battle of the sexes inherent in the story that much more equal. The illustrations were also a great added touch. And finally, the tone and timbre of Ms. Austen is admirably maintained in all the added passages. It really almost reads as a macabre early draft.

4. Thumbs down: Come on, Seth, you couldn’t figure out a way to kill off Miss Bingley? After all, you killed Charlotte, and all she did was try to improve her life. Miss Bingley, the stuck up bitch, should’ve gotten hers in the end, too. At the very least, Kung Fu Jane should’ve beaten her soundly. Also, were the ninjas really necessary? I’m half shocked there wasn’t a scene with pirates or robots to really hit all the points on the Zeitgeist checklist.

5. Recommendation:
Austen fans will most likely enjoy the skewering (and beheading, and evisceration, and pummeling) that their beloved Pride and Prejudice receives. Zombie fans might be a little hard-pressed to fight their way through Jane’s persnickety verbosity. You should read it. If only for the fact that you can prove your literary chops and your pop-culture street cred at the same time. Just don’t read the original and Zombies back-to-back unless you’re prepared for the inevitable regency hangover that follows. -3 Stars-

5 Points Review Scale

1 Star: I would never burn a book, but this really tempted me
2 Stars: Read this book only if you have no other books and reading is the only thing that makes the voices go away
3 Stars: Lousy book with redeeming parts or Good book with obvious flaws
4 Stars: Buy it, read it, loan it out, forget who you loaned it to, buy it, read it, loan it out…
5 Stars: This will be on the syllabus in my upcoming seminar: “The Best Books You’ll Ever Read”